When should I look back? When should I be present? When should I reach for the future?
It is important to stay present as often as possible. Even when looking backward or forward, it is essential to have one foot in the present. Make an active choice to look forward or back, try not to fall into either without intention. When you decide to time travel remember to keep checking in with your breath, body, and emotions as they exist in the present. Staying present is difficult. It involves exercising the “mindfulness muscle.” If being present is difficult for you, we can use therapy to help you grow your mindful awareness.
It is generally helpful to look back if you are having trouble understanding your reactions in the present. You can gain a clearer understanding of your current emotions, thoughts, and behaviors by processing your past. You may need to investigate family dynamics, unprocessed or unresolved grief/trauma, and harmful patterns of behavior in your therapy. Ruminating on the past or wishing it was otherwise can cause significant suffering, it may be preventing you from living the life you desire. If you notice yourself reflecting on the past and saying, “I should have; I wish I had; Everything is; I always; I never; I shouldn’t have,” it may be time to begin therapy.
It is generally helpful to look forward when you feel lost and in need of a compass. When you feel stuck or recognize there is a part of yourself that needs more attention, dreaming about or planning the future can be immensely helpful. If you notice your mind drifts to the future because you want to control for anxiety or other discomforts, you may be avoiding something that is more important to sit with in the present moment.